Primary Auxiliary Caregiver Status

For non family members, I have temporarily relocated to the Ferguson Ranch. I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, providing transportation, guidance and minor health care for four small children. They range in age from 3 - 10. My 3 year old grandson joined us one night for a couple hours and is expected to spend Family Day with us. I know that alot of you worry about me being on my own with the four children, but the duct tape is in my care, not theirs, and I never turn my back on them. I don't allow groups of more than two at any given time and I wander spontaneously among them.


On day 1, my only job was to make sure I was here when the 3 elders got off the bus. Go to day care to pick up the younger, heat up supper, (which was left for us by Mom), supervise homework and ensure a practical bedtime happened.

Well the bus drop off happened without incident.......... Then the trip to the day care with 3 fighting siblings was such a delight. At least Baxter was excited to see me when I picked him up. Once we got home, supper was ready for the table. "I don't like the mac & cheese" "I didn't know that was what stir fry was" "the rice is cold" "how come he got juice and I have to drink milk"........... well this is going well. Good job I am not new or I would have been offended.

Homework has always been a challenge for me, as teaching is not my first calling. Adam, the eldest, was eager to get started with his homework. He informed me that the math portion was to be done online.... ya right... I checked his journal and sure enough, the teacher had written in the website. My guess is that teachers now think that we caregivers aren't bright enough to help with homework any more. Next was to edit a story he had written. For those of you who are familiar with my "find a word" homework with Adam a few years ago, will remember that I find this part of the homework very frustrating. I have to say, that one of us has come along way, as it went very smoothly.

The next child on the list, Bry, showed me her journal that said..."no homework tonight" Oh thank god.....

Next comes the little con artist... Abby. Now I am very aware of her cunning ways, but I did not by any imagination realize a 6 year old could be so sneaky. I asked her for her journal to see what was for homework. There was nothing written in and no papers there to indicate there might be something to do. Also, Mom left a bag with a note that tells me this was homework for the night. In the bag was a book which I was told, had to read to me in part, each night, until it was finished. No big rush. I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. I trusted her. She has the biggest brown eyes that just ooze trust.

Bedtime went off relatively smoothly. Bry had a little trouble settling but soon was sound asleep.

Day 2 – this is where it all fell apart…….. kids got up, got dressed, got breakfast, and helped me pack their bags for school. I grabbed Abby’s bag and there was 2 pieces of homework that were supposed to be done for today. She didn’t want to do them last night, so she hid them. I remained calm and told her that she would have to suffer the consequences at school, not having any homework completed. She shrugged her shoulders and muttered, “whatever”. Six.,…. She is six…..arggggggg

Five minutes until bus arrival and they were all dressed, bags in hand and heading out the door. Success……. HA!!!

I asked them all to wait for the bus over on the “non-icy” part of the driveway. I might as well have said, “Go run on the ice that has 3 inches of water on top of it”, because that is exactly what they did. A couple minutes later I could not find Abby. She was in the garage, sobbing her heart out, soaked to her underwear. A small slip on the ice and she was down, and wet. I hauled her back into the house, got her changed and back outside, just as the bus was pulling up.

What else could happen now??? Baxter was already dressed and I just needed to get his coat and boots on, and we were on our way. This cute little thing, came running when I called, stopped just short of me, and announced; “Donna, I think I have a poopy bum”. What an understatement. Just a warning…. Reading from here on, could be gross and not suitable for all readers……..

He had crap from his diaper to his neck and back down again to his knees. I had to almost lay on him, to get him to stop wiggling in it. I got his clothes off, and removed the diaper. As I started to wipe him clean, he pooped in my hand. I am 57 years old and have never had anyone poop in my hand. I was grossed out, beyond belief. Then the little darling smiled up at me and said;” Donna I don’t think I am done yet”…. No kidding……

With both of us cleaned up, I dropped him off at day care and went to my own home, where my husband asked if I was ready to go for breakfast...........